“What will matter is the good WE did, not the good we expected others to do. May you listen to the voice within the beat of your heart even when you are tired. And if you can wait for me…like I waited for you…I will be there.”

We have to stop shrinking ourselves so that others feel bigger and better than they really are. We have to stop doing things when we don’t want to do them, giving things we don’t want to give, accepting things we don’t want to take, and apologizing for things that are the essence of who we are when who we are has never done anything but love the person we are apologizing to.

Apologies should come from people who have actually done something wrong…and even from those people, apologies and respect shouldn’t have to be begged for. The best apology anyone can offer is not in words but in changing their behavior without us having to remind them what we need every time we turn around – the best apology is them just respecting what we ask without us having to ask it more than one time.

Is there anything you feel I need to apologize to you for? Is there anything I need to or can do for you that I don’t already do? Is there anything you want from me that I don’t realize you want? What can I do to contribute to your happiness, and to life you up, today (or any day)?

These are the questions people who claim to love us should be asking us. These are the questions I’m asking you to ask yourself every morning. These are the questions I am asking you this morning. Answer them with the nitty gritty, real truth. Your truth. Don’t be a version of yourself to placate me or anyone else.

BE AUTHENTICALLY, UNFORGIVINGLY YOU and accept nothing but what you deserve.

I have fallen in love with the imagination. And if you fall in love with the imagination, you understand that it is a free spirit. It will go anywhere, and it can do anything. —Alice Walker

Mextures Formula: FCIDCYX

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom

She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand

She said, I have to go now, my time here is over

And with her final word, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain

Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye

It’s OK to hurt, and it’s OK to cry

Come, let me hold you and I will try

How can I help you to say goodbye?

How can I help you to say goodbye?

—Karen Taylor-Good, Burton Collins

Mextures Formula: GDRSIDA

It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.

—Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

Mextures Formula: CLABPXZ


Another music piece, this time with GoPro time lapse footage filmed in my backyard. The background music is a song that I created on the day my best friend died after a long fight with cancer. Coping through nature and music, always… I hope you enjoy – I did, creating it. ❤️

Song available for free play/free use download on SoundCloud.

*Catacosmosis is the username I chose to use for my music uploads. This is my original work/content. Full video also viewable on my YouTube channel.

M i n d f u l n e s s.

Instablog: Today I had (another) doctors appointment and I got put back on steroids and he made a sort of joke about how I was falling apart. It was a moment for me. You know, one of those moments where you kind of see yourself as you were and as then you wish to be, and what you are really plays very little into what your mind WANTS, and you sort of have a silent but stern moment with yourself to say, “this may be how the doctor sees me; it may also be how I’ve seen myself…but I want to change my perception, and I’m going to.

That’s been a continuing and active thing for me lately. It’s just like this reminder to live and experience life in a state of mindfulness. I caught myself falling easily into that state as I walked around my yard this afternoon shooting some flowers that are blooming. It feels good to feel myself within myself, despite what the doctor sees (or I feel) my physical body doing. Mind over matter…

Tools: Mextures (formula VNWKCVY)
Vision: Unsplash, Lesly Juarez