Looking Forward (Or Deja Vu?)

You never know where the road is going to take you. Be careful with yourself. Don’t abuse yourself or others, or take your body (or life) for granted.

One day you may be in a situation where you don’t know what’s next for it – and whether you believe me or not, or like it or not, or think it’s a dramatic statement or not, I don’t care – it’s a terrifying and uncomfortable place to be, especially when you have small children.

It’s funny how you can be considering the future, looking forward and not behind, but feel as though you are watching your past happen all over again – and you never expected it and thought you’d done everything to prevent it from ever being this way again. Well. When it comes to the body, and to life, really, sometimes things just happen.

Sometimes things happen and they’re scary and they’re hard and you can’t talk about it because…well, no one will understand and you don’t want anyone to act a certain way, or maybe you just don’t want to be vulnerable because you’re already possibly more vulnerable than many people assume.

You don’t mean to be vague but you are just doing the best you can to process your own existence – and you have no clue. None. Not even a tiny one. You’re just waiting. You’re waiting because it’s deja vu and you know what happened then; but, it’s also a different experience and you know it’s “now,” not “then,” but you’re gun-shy from the last experience…so time is the only source of answers, if time or answers even exist.

Life is like driving a car. You can drive all you want, but you never really have power or control over anything. Forces far greater than you do – and sometimes they’re not kind. And, if you think you do have everything under control? It’s an illusion.

Don’t delude yourself. You’re going to be in a world of hurt at some point, if you do. Don’t forget that when you dance, eventually you have to pay the band.

Don’t assume you know people. Don’t assume you know what’s going on in their life. Don’t judge based on what you THINK you know, because in reality? You don’t know squat except about yourself. Focus on that, unless you do know facts and you can be of some emotional or physical help in someone’s life.

That’s what the last few years have taught me, in being treated like crap, and allowing myself to be used by people and abused by the medical system. Did it make me stronger? Wiser? Yes. Did it hurt? Badly? Also, absolutely yes.

Don’t be a selfish jerk. Do good. Be gentle. Be compassionate. Be kind. Do all those things for yourself and for others. Make it a great day. I love you all. ❤️

~C.

You’ll never know…

…until you have actually and fully been there.

Until you have actually walked this road in a way that leaves the soles of your shoes worn out and developing holes, and your feet blistered and bleeding twice as much as your heart pumps through you and until you have not only seen but had no choice but to actively participate in the sights and scenes DAILY, because there literally was no one else, for so long that you feel like you’re in a Stephen King novel, no – you will never know what it’s really like.

How it can wear you so thin that it nearly destroys you, the way water seems to work like acid and melts cheap toilet paper.

How it can tear you down to a level that you, as compassionate and kind a person you are or try to be, think, “the next time someone tells me I should smile more, or I should look on the bright side (which is what? That eventually she’ll die and I won’t have to do this anymore?) I’m going to punch them in the face.”

How you start avoiding people because you’re sick of their hypocritical judgments and comparisons, OR the way they pretend to understand when you know good and well they have no clue so you just stop talking about it and pretend it’s easy and everything is fine…

100%. Until you’ve done it, you’ll never understand completely what it’s like. I shared a lot of our journey. Even then it was only a fraction and what I did share was picked apart by completely irrelevant, inexperienced people. But I will keep sharing this until we have real reform and raise the standard of care for caregivers and their loved ones with dementia. (Thank you, Martina.)

When my mom died, it broke me. It wasn’t the grief that broke me, it was the RELIEF that broke me. Because I had no idea what to do with it. And I felt guilty for feeling it in the first place.

Finally being able to breathe and stop and rest after SO LONG of being a full time care giver going between two homes and three people (wait, four – but I never really thought of myself, lol) and dealing with doctors and being sick myself…?

THAT almost killed me.

I’m not exaggerating or trying to be dramatic or draw attention, which is what people always love to say when you share thoughts like this (which reallllly doesn’t help so just shut up because that kind of thing can drive someone over an edge you will never understand when they’re grieving loss after caregiving).

I just finished writing a whole chapter about this. Maybe I’ll share it via my blog… For now, here’s the thing I want you to know and remember:

If you’re in a situation like this or are grieving after a situation like this, know that you’re not alone. Know that there ARE those who see you and feel you because they’re there, too, or they’ve been there before.

I pray not one of you ever has to go through it (or go through it again).

If you are forced to go through it, I pray you get the resources you need (financially and otherwise) sooner than a month before your loved one dies because the only thing that finally saves the day is hospice.

I pray if you do face this situation, you have less people than more coming at you with what you need to do and how you need to act but NEVER actually doing anything to help you do what they think you should do and regularly acting the same way you’re acting despite not being in your shoes and instead having everything they could ever want or need.

And I pray that if you ever find yourself in those shoes, you give yourself grace and you forgive yourself daily, before the day begins, for the fact that you’re never going to be perfect. You’re not going to get it right and keep your cool and manage your emotions well EVERY DAY. You’re just not. Period. So accept it and be gentle with yourself and just keep doing the best that you can. You’ve got this. You really do. You don’t think you do or feel that you do, BUT YOU DO. 🙏💜🙏

And if you’ve never been there at this level and never have to be? I pray you don’t take that privilege for granted. Because you ARE privileged.

💜💙💜

“Wish You Would Just Die, Nobody Loves You.”

I have seen some truly disgusting things in the last few days – ESPECIALLY on YouTube but just in general in trying to research for my writing. Y’all. Seriously. Some of the stuff I’ve just read – not even to me, just to some random person on the internet – made me cry my eyes out.

How about have a little respect for the people who are out here being real instead of leaving them hate comments and telling them they should/you wish they would die. You know something? They might be a lot closer to doing that than you ever imagined. But then again, so might you be…

How about waking up and realizing that the two M’s (money and manipulation) mean nothing but survival (the rich ass people are out here miserable every single day) and they (money and manipulation) do not grow your soul or teach you lessons, but that authenticity, higher consciousness and love are the only way to fully LIVE, not just survive.

If someone is telling their story, however they’re telling it? Let them tell it – because you know what? It’s not always easy. If it was, everyone would and could and would do it.

I’m not going to sit over here and say, “just be you – it’s ok to be who you are,” because people like THAT? People like these people telling Jeffree and his friend Daniel and people telling James Charles to die, that they’re getting what they deserve, etc., it is NOT OK to be like that. Personally, even though I no longer support any of the aforementioned YouTubers as a brand or believe in them as genuine people, there’s a difference in internally deciding that these people and I don’t mesh when it comes to what we believe about how to live and treat people and I’m going to distance myself versus straight up telling them to FUCKING DIE.

That’s bad – but that’s not what got me on this topic. What got me on this topic was seeing how some of the anti-stans came at GENUINELY CONCERNED PEOPLE, probably a lot of younger people, who weren’t so much big supporters of these people but were simply wishing them well. I saw people relying to comments like, “I’ve been disappointed in your behavior recently and don’t care for the BC drama, but you don’t deserve some of these hateful words…wishing you the best, Jeffree,” with comments like, “you’re a fucking fat loser who knows nothing and you should die just like Jeffree should. I hope you do.”

What. THE FUCK. My heart is just…I can’t. I have sobbed for these random commenters. Truly – WHO SPEAKS TO ANYONE THAT WAY, especially a faceless stranger online? WHO?

Stop putting people down and treating people like commodities. Learn what respect really is. Learn what being mature really is. Go ahead and talk badly about all the people around you or in the world who you are trying to fake out or who you don’t like or who don’t live like you want them to (or like you wish you could).

We see you. We ALL know who you really are. You wear your ignorance and your anger like a sick badge of honor and you use your words as a weapon, not as a tool to learn and to heal yourself or anyone else. We all have a dark side but some of us also have light in us. And those of us that have light in us? We’ve believed in you. We’ve loved you and been patient with you. We’ve tried to show you – both in words and with our actions. But you think you’ve got allllll figured out and it’s your way or the highway. It’s not.

You gotta learn to give up control. To allow. You have to learn to surrender to divine timing and trust in the moment. You gotta learn to communicate instead of scream. That’s why you keep losing things. That’s why you keep stressing and fretting and having things “screw up.” Because guess what baby doll? You’re not in control of anything and the only person you’re ever going to truly destroy is yourself, unless you don’t grow up spiritually and emotionally. From the heart center and the Ajna. From the Anahata and the Vishuddhi.

Let people live their lives and be who they are and have their opinions and stop blocking your own blessings by hating them for it, or spending so much energy worrying about and speaking about why they’re wrong or you don’t like them. Hate has NO place in this world. It serves NO purpose other than to be destructive and in the end the one it will destroy is the hater, not the hated.

A part two to this will be posted soon – just as soon as I get my thoughts together. But for now? How about just BE KIND.

Lube Up.

I have had disappointments. Struggles. Moments that I’ve lost faith in what I used to believe. Oh yes, more than a few. Like most lives, mine is sprinkled with the moments that passed me by, the opportunities I only saw in the rear-view mirror, hopes lost in the fading light of what I thought would be my day. Yet, here I am. Here we all are, those of us still here.

It has not all been easy. It has never been black and white. It has never been that simple – perhaps that is why I dream of adding color to it all in my creative endeavors. But I am not defined by my disappointments, nor am I confined by them. I am shaped by them, changed by them, but never owned by them. It is in the learning that I am set free: free to try again, or free to do my life differently.

I’m an intelligent and logical person but I’m also an empath. I am what many from childhood and even up til now have considered wasteful. You know, the uselessness of having a head in the clouds or a heart perpetually full of feelings and passion that are all an unproductive, non-conducive waste of time. Those things are true, taken to extremes they can be detrimental…but so can the excess of anger and judgment and many other things.

It is through all of my own experiences – especially the difficulties and painful experiences – that I have learned how to authentically be me and to make my soul characteristics, both the darkness and the light of it, not just my way of living but also my way of EARNING a living – because to be a creator is MY PURPOSE. Others don’t have to understand or relate to that – they don’t even have to respect it…they’re consuming what I’m bringing to the table and not bringing a plate to the potluck.

We ALL have a soul purpose. The world needs ALL of us, with ALL of our different gifts. Don’t put people down or judge them because they don’t live the life you would choose for yourself. Thank them, instead, for what they bring into your life with their differences.

The world needs construction workers and emergency services workers and doctors and nurses and teachers and IT people and factory workers and farmers and truckers and on and on to help it to run smoothly. Of course it does. OF COURSE it does.

But do you know what it also needs that just about every one of those “essential” people consume like vitamins? The light of the artists – the realms of the writers, the musicians, the deep thinkers, the actors, the comedians, the magicians, the drawers of magical worlds and the painters of scapes in sound or in color, or both all at once – to escape to.

The world NEEDS the creators of comfort and escape to help the “essential workers” to cope with the stresses of their lives serving others. It needs the creators to help to invent and build the world, but also to help the world remember it’s inner child – the one that existed before it was told it couldn’t be itself and had match the rules that killed it’s true joy – and hopefully in some small way to help that inner child stay alive.

The world needs the dreamers and those brave enough to share their wildest and craziest ideas and creations to help the world see beauty and creativity, to find inspiration, and maybe, in some ways, to heal.

The world needs ALL OF US, all the time.

What has not worked for me in my life has taught me the depths of who I am. It has also taught me the limits of who I am. What has worked for me may not be for everyone but it has helped me to shine when I want to hide in the dark, and the broken parts of me and my past are not monuments made of stone, nor have they turned ME to stone. They are, even at their worst, portals through which I travel into a better tomorrow…or the hope that I one day will.

The experiences I have had and will have are the tools through which I create, through which I manifest and through which I show others (if not by word then by example) exactly what thriving – not just surviving – is.

Or, that is my hope. That is my goal.

That is my heart, and it just wants to make a difference in the lives of struggling people by sometimes making them feel less alone in their darkness by being dark with it but also by helping them to escape through the magic that sometimes pours out of me.

Our magics and our roles may be different, but it takes us all to make the world a happy and comfortable and interesting place to be. So don’t down the dreamer. Don’t loathe the lover. Don’t hate the hurt – because hurt people hurt people. Don’t damn the already damaged.

Don’t waste your time or energy playing the role of jury or judge because you’re neither. That’s not the job of a single one of us. We’re just here to do whatever we do best, whatever drives us and serves the world for the better, and to love – because love is the center of everything, even logic.

We are energetic, crystalline beings living in physical, 3D bodies. We are souls that are taking residence in a vessel so complex we haven’t even completely figured the vessel out yet. There was a time where there was very few awakened souls here on earth, and now many are becoming awake to these truths.

That is the purpose for all of us. We are here to experience this realm of existence while it lasts and to do our soul’s job in this realm to leave it better than we found it. What’s so hard about that? Apparently a lot – perhaps that is why we also need philosophers and psychologists and theologians and spiritual intellectuals whose jobs are to help us to sort through the two realities of spiritual and human existence.

The synopsis? Different types of people with different goals in life really aren’t meant to rub each other with friction causing constant lifequakes (pun totally intended). They’re meant to grease each other up, like lube, if you will, so that we can move more easily through the time that makes up our human life and actually EXPERIENCE IT.

Start moving with life instead of trying to force it to be a certain way. Creating your life is a process. Lube up already. Otherwise, life’s going to keep being rough and leaving friction burns in your soul. 🤷‍♀️❤️

The Mighty Oak Will Kill You

I mediated this morning on something that I told my child last night when he asked for advice about why someone in his life did what they did and about why it hurt him. I told him that this the person who had hurst him was not yet coursgeous enough to heal himself before he broke someone else, and that it hurt him because he cared about this person.

He depended on this person to not hurt him. He believed in this person. And for a child, that’s really scary and difficult because as a child you’re still learning to process emotions and understand what emotions are. It takes maturity at multiple levels to remain calm and to not hurt a child with you words. I suppose the same is true for adults – especially the way we treat and speak to ourselves.

So, I went on this very deep, very enlightening almost hour long soul journey with my own meditative backing track (coming soon, shameless plug) and it was one of those meditative experiences where you’re doing your meditative thing (eyes closed, body relaxed, going within your deeper, inner being and connecting with it) and it hurts.

It burns. It stings. It aches. Tears roll down your cheeks even though your eyes are closed. You feel every needle the porcupine of life has shot into you. But you keep going and you find yourself at the edge of your inner self and inner peace and you step into it, and you bathe in it’s light. While you’re there, you see things about yourself for what they are.

What did I see within myself? That being strong doesn’t require being fearless – it’s facing the fears that create the strength in the first place. That protecting yourself doesn’t require meanness, it requires patience and love. And, that being guarded and angry doesn’t deflect the things you don’t want to see as much as it blocks your blessings and wastes valuable energy and time.

This is hard. This process is one we are faced with numerous times in our lives. My son was faced with it for the first time last night, and I shared some of my experiences with him and it helped me to remember things that current shadows have been hiding: We learn as we go, but we don’t learn unless we put in the effort to do so.

We all know it takes more strength to be kind and to love anyway than to run. But if I didn’t run from my demented mother who randomly beat me with a cane because of her disease, if I handled that and still did my job as a daughter and in the role I was thrust into as her death doula…and I did it mostly on my own (because I was dealing with absent people and also still blocking spirit and blessings for so long), I can handle just about anything, right?

((Please note, there is a difference between running from yourself because of self-doubt and walking away from toxicity because of self-confidence. There’s always two sides to these memes. There’s always two sides to everything – and often a lot of gray.))

Personally, I am really struggling with a lot of negative and toxic emotions toward my body right now – and with a lot of negative and toxic energy surrounding me. The things my body and I have faced in the past two years have been unforgiving at times, almost suffocating at others. They’ve been so difficult, and continue to be in some moments. But that’s the thing. It’s moments. You learn to rest in the moments that you have to – especially in the moments that you NEED to – but not give up completely.

You learn to be ok with the fact that venting your fears and anger and concerns about things is NOT always “just complaining” and it’s not being ungrateful. It’s COPING. It’s figuring things out. It’s keeping your own balance. Because you can’t thrive in ANY way without balance. You learn that a response of kindness and empathy and gentleness is more powerful than a response of coldness and lack of depth.

After all, look at nature – what’s more beautiful and pleasant? The colors, the beauty, and the warmth of spring and summer and fall or the harshness and bone chilling cold of winter? Can winter be beautiful? Sure. But is it as pleasant and comfortable and conducive to joy? No – that’s why so many people struggle with seasonal affective disorder.

You very literally see that the people who told you throughout your life that you have to be good with yourself before you can be good with anyone else, and that you won’t have true peace until you do the work to heal yourself, was telling you the truth. You won’t ever find peace of mind and true and lasting joy in your soul until you learn to sit in the darkness and kill it with your own inner light and magic. And you have that. You ARE that. You are magic. You are made of literal “stardust,” for Christ’s sake.

Shine like you’re supposed to. Don’t let your circumstances and your old wounds or should have could have would haves or even the opinions and actions of others put out your light and stop you from sparkling like the diamond you’re supposed to become under pressure. If my mom’s stuff taught me anything, it was the harsh reality of that. Pressure and pain can grow you into a brilliant diamond or petrify you into a bland and plain stone.

Don’t let it be the latter. Don’t let your heart become petrified and your mind become stagnant. You aren’t here to be a rock, or you’d have been created as a rock that just lays there on the ground and does nothing. You’re here to LIVE. Not just survive, LIVE. In order to do that, you have to mind the diamonds – you HAVE TO DO THE WORK.

As I find myself struggling with my body, and with random triggers of mom grief (that’s a whole other blog) I’m not making the same mistakes I’ve made in the past and choosing to hide away or beat myself up (and thus, others). I’m going to continue to grow and one day I’m going to bloom, and y’all are all going to watch me do it. Actions speak louder than words, even as loud as words can be screamed.

I’ve been here before but I’ve learned and grown. After my last episode with my health, with depression and the thoughts that ran through my head, I’m terrified of only one thing: dying knowing I haven’t given all I could give or done the work I needed to do to live well and in peace and thus bring peace and joy to others. But, that work I can only do that for myself, with my own choices and actions. It’s a conscious choice we have to make over and over in our lives.

It was a conscious choice with a lot of conscious effort behind it to fight my body’s BS before, to fight depression, to fight my self doubt, to heal traumas and wrongs inside myself – especially around my mom so that I could care for her when there was no one else to do so. The shadow work had to be done. I took my little soul chainsaw and cleaned out the vines and the poison ivy and the dead trees of my past and my experiences and do you know what I find, over and over again? Baby trees. New growth that needs room to become.

There are stumps and scars in the garden of my soul that still feel tender sometimes but they remind me that I CAN heal and I have many times. The more times you go through this process, the more you learn to listen to spirit and see the signs and open up the natural spiritual gifts that we all have, the more you realize that nothing is ever in your control and that most of the time, when you stand like the oak, you’re standing in your own way.

You realize that when you break, that oak is gonna fall hard and it’s gonna crush anything in its way, and you’re going to be the one who has destroyed all the good you couldn’t see while you were fighting for more more more and fighting to look strong and hide your truth and avoid other people rather than to be your authentic self and to SHOW UP, for yourself AND for those you care about.

Vulnerability bends. Vulnerability can move with the moment – it can handle the pressure without breaking. It gives, it sways with the energy. And when the hurricanes and tornadoes and even the weight of the winter ice come, it can withstand them, because in reality? Softness is stronger than hardness when it comes to humanity and the soul.

It’s a metaphor we’ve been presented with eleventy hundred times in eleventy hundred ways in our lives: The oak is the ego. The willow is the soul. Don’t let your ego break you and those you care for. Don’t let your ego block your blessings and destroy your soul. Your peace and your heart (and the peace and hearts of others) are worth way more than that. Keep it open.

The more you give, the more you receive – even if it doesn’t come from where you are directing it. Life will surprise you. Let it surprise you with gifts, not problems. And remember, you create so much of both in the tiniest actions and choices you make.

I Chose the 4D/5D

It is fundamentally and intellectually RIDICULOUS to see the truth in front of your face and continue to convince yourself to live a lie.

It’s one thing to not have proof and to question and seek and try to find clarity. It’s another thing completely to KNOW and to still defend something that has proven itself over and over again to be false…and so many things are.

If you can’t get out of the thoughts of the 3D and into the flow of acknowledging the feeling and truth in the 4/5D long enough to realize that everything is not as it appears in a physical sense then you’re never going to find your actual truth and live an authentically happy and peaceful life.

“There has to be balance. If you can’t find that, it’s because you’re not trying. And if you’re not trying, you have only yourself to blame” (that’s me speaking to me).

WE ARE NOT SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER, no matter how badly we want to believe we are, in the 3D experience of life. If you haven’t allowed yourself to experience any thought pattern or existence other than that, you’re really missing out – you’re not authentic at all. It’s not all about you. It’s about the collective.

Lest we forget we have extremely short physical lifespans and we live on one of many “big rocks in the sky.” There is a whole universe – physically and spiritually – to explore. Yes, there is order in the natural world but that order comes from complete chaos. How is that not abundantly clear and obvious?

I don’t understand a “black and white” existence. I will never be convinced that’s all there is because I have experienced so much more. I have seen – and lived – in the technicolor realms of the “more” that so many people roll their eyes at. Once you go there, you can never go back to the mundane. And you’ll never want to. True story. The mundane will never again be enough.

“You perceive the world through 6 senses and your intuition starts to grow and expand. You seek a deeper meaning to life and you can start to see the synchronicity/magic of the Universe.” That’s where I prefer to be – I don’t live from my mind. I live from my soul. It’s not always easy but it’s always more fulfilling. Always.

Understanding the 3 States of Consciousness: 3D, 4D, and 5D

#SpreadMusicNotHate No.3

Hans Zimmer’s “Time,” from Inception, performed by the Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Martin Gellner. Always an all time favorite. Oh, and that’s Hans Zimmer himself playing lead guitar.

This is the most peaceful (in my definition and experience of peace), beautiful piece of orchestral genius I have ever heard in my life. I bawl (usually on the inside) every time I hear it and it’s so healing. It’s on my list.

Before the end of my life I want to play this with an orchestra. The swells. The hidden notes. The soul. The high. The sounds – the language – of the cosmos within it… 😭🎶🙌

I wish I’d never given up music professionally. I wish I’d never studied anything else sometimes. I wish a lot of things, but I chose what I chose. Maybe it’s time to change what I chose because I was “supposed to” at the time, and choose what my heart wants now… My heart is not really at home anymore. It lives someplace it can never really belong, except maybe on that stage, making one sound out of many with all the other musicians, and touching the hearts of others listening (although the practices are the best – when there’s no audience but the orchestra and conductor).

That’s what I’ve come to realize in these months since mama died. I’ve spent all this time trying to figure out how to do life now, and it suddenly hit me why it never feels right now matter what I do. You know? ❤️

What about you? What are your real passions? What is your heart’s truest desires – the things (or thing) that makes you feel like you’re truly where you’re meant to be and not just there because you were shaped or conditioned to be there? What would you do if you didn’t have the responsibilities you have now that you feel like you can’t leave behind?

I’d play the music and move people’s souls – at least, the one’s whose souls are moved by music. We’d travel, and we’d live wild and free in a world of art and music. That’s what we’d do. 😌

What will you choose?

Hey there… I’m about to catch up on my #spreadmusicnothate posts, but first some morning thoughts:

No altar, no belief, no holy book…have ever been able to reconcile the rich and the poor, the exploiter and the exploited. And if Jesus himself had to take the whip and chase them from his temple, it is indeed because that is the only language they hear.” -Thomas Sankara

No – it’s not ALL rich people, and I’ll gladly point that out. Look at Dolly. Look at Keanu. Look at Paul Walker (before he died in that crash). Many “rich” people care and give to and for the higher good. It’s not even specifically normal people who are richer than me and many of us financially. But this spoke to me on levels of Jeff Beezos. Both “Walt” families (Walt Disney’s and Sam Walton’s). I could go on… That top 1%…

Kindness is so important – giving, helping, encouraging. Not just money, but also words and comfort. Don’t underestimate that.

Jesus did, in fact, flip tables and run people out of his temple with whips, see John – chapter 2. He – as a pure soul in a human form – lost his temper more than once. But he did it in situations that required it. How do you think he would enjoy “church” now?

The point is this: frustration and speaking/acting out for injustice is OK. It’s ok to not feel or be happy all the time. ALL of our emotions serve a purpose.

If Jesus can acceptably lose his temper, use his anger for change and defense of the abused, then it’s ok for you to get angry and fed up, too. To call out injustice and to stand on the side of the less fortunate or unfortunate.

Don’t think that Love itself (as Christ is generally defined) wasn’t sometimes reprimanding and influential of change in ways that don’t seem kind to the one getting “in trouble.”

Don’t think love doesn’t need to get “tough” on you sometimes or that generally always kind people are fluffy bunnies who never turn into lions. How many of you are parents? 😉

That said, don’t down the “fluffy bunnies” – it is my belief that some of us are here for that purpose specifically. Someone has to try to help keep the balance between fear and love, and that’s what everything really boils down to. Love isn’t necessarily unafraid – sometimes it takes big courage and strength to choose love. Fear is afraid of everything. That’s what fear is, in and of itself and by it’s definition.

I once wrote a whole post about how EVERYTHING is either love or fear, the difference between love and fear. If I can dig that up I’ll reshare it and/or add a link here.

There is a fine balance in all things. Whenever possible? Choose love – even if your love sometimes has to hold its own. It’s not always rainbows and unicorn droppings, but it’s always worth it.