Spark, No Fire…

I feel like a lighter that is out of fluid. Like, myself and everyone around me keeps clicking me but just a tiny spark comes out and there’s no fluid to make the spark into a flame. LOL I have no idea if that makes any sense – it likely won’t because I’ve been very vague about what’s going on with me and my life (totally unlike me, I know) lately.

It’s a tough time. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I don’t need to know – none of us, do really. I have been trying to remind myself that the Universe doesn’t care what MY plan is… Thing will always ALWAYS always work out the way they are meant to, no matter what our best intentions and efforts are. Have you ever noticed that?

The things that are meant to be truly do flow easily and quickly and fluidly, and the things that are not meant to be are the things that feel strained and difficult – things that make your heart hurt and keep you up at night trying to plan and plot your next move when the reality is you know and see what is right in front of your face but you can’t REALLY see because the forest always gets in the way of the trees.

We push on, though, don’t we. When do we finally say, “Ok, have it your way, Universe. You take my life and mold it.” When do we finally come to peace with what we already know about ourselves? When do we face our demons and change our ways? Usually when it’s too late. And it feels like that’s where I am now.
Maybe it’s time for another break…maybe it’s time to just let it all go… ((shrug))

Sometimes, when we feel like this, what we need is the same thing a dead lighter needs that’s running on fumes. It can still manage a flame, but it needs another lighter to get it’s fire from so that it can burn again. I have always tried to be that for other people…and sometimes failed… Right now, I need that – I need an established fire to help me burn again…without being the type of fire that will burn me to ashes.


“Before the soul can see, the harmony within must be attained, and fleshly eyes be rendered blind to all illusion.


No man can swim unless he enters deep water.” — Helena Petrovna Blavatsky