You never know where the road is going to take you. Be careful with yourself. Don’t abuse yourself or others, or take your body (or life) for granted.
One day you may be in a situation where you don’t know what’s next for it – and whether you believe me or not, or like it or not, or think it’s a dramatic statement or not, I don’t care – it’s a terrifying and uncomfortable place to be, especially when you have small children.
It’s funny how you can be considering the future, looking forward and not behind, but feel as though you are watching your past happen all over again – and you never expected it and thought you’d done everything to prevent it from ever being this way again. Well. When it comes to the body, and to life, really, sometimes things just happen.
Sometimes things happen and they’re scary and they’re hard and you can’t talk about it because…well, no one will understand and you don’t want anyone to act a certain way, or maybe you just don’t want to be vulnerable because you’re already possibly more vulnerable than many people assume.
You don’t mean to be vague but you are just doing the best you can to process your own existence – and you have no clue. None. Not even a tiny one. You’re just waiting. You’re waiting because it’s deja vu and you know what happened then; but, it’s also a different experience and you know it’s “now,” not “then,” but you’re gun-shy from the last experience…so time is the only source of answers, if time or answers even exist.
Life is like driving a car. You can drive all you want, but you never really have power or control over anything. Forces far greater than you do – and sometimes they’re not kind. And, if you think you do have everything under control? It’s an illusion.
Don’t delude yourself. You’re going to be in a world of hurt at some point, if you do. Don’t forget that when you dance, eventually you have to pay the band.
Don’t assume you know people. Don’t assume you know what’s going on in their life. Don’t judge based on what you THINK you know, because in reality? You don’t know squat except about yourself. Focus on that, unless you do know facts and you can be of some emotional or physical help in someone’s life.
That’s what the last few years have taught me, in being treated like crap, and allowing myself to be used by people and abused by the medical system. Did it make me stronger? Wiser? Yes. Did it hurt? Badly? Also, absolutely yes.
Don’t be a selfish jerk. Do good. Be gentle. Be compassionate. Be kind. Do all those things for yourself and for others. Make it a great day. I love you all. ❤️
In nature frozen green things are beautiful and interesting, yet ice and the color green are associated most often in the human mind with unkind and ugly things like envious, bitter, hurtful and hateful hearts. Sad, yes? I’ll stick to nature, thank you very much. 💚❤️
I have had disappointments. Struggles. Moments that I’ve lost faith in what I used to believe. Oh yes, more than a few. Like most lives, mine is sprinkled with the moments that passed me by, the opportunities I only saw in the rear-view mirror, hopes lost in the fading light of what I thought would be my day. Yet, here I am. Here we all are, those of us still here.
It has not all been easy. It has never been black and white. It has never been that simple – perhaps that is why I dream of adding color to it all in my creative endeavors. But I am not defined by my disappointments, nor am I confined by them. I am shaped by them, changed by them, but never owned by them. It is in the learning that I am set free: free to try again, or free to do my life differently.
I’m an intelligent and logical person but I’m also an empath. I am what many from childhood and even up til now have considered wasteful. You know, the uselessness of having a head in the clouds or a heart perpetually full of feelings and passion that are all an unproductive, non-conducive waste of time. Those things are true, taken to extremes they can be detrimental…but so can the excess of anger and judgment and many other things.
It is through all of my own experiences – especially the difficulties and painful experiences – that I have learned how to authentically be me and to make my soul characteristics, both the darkness and the light of it, not just my way of living but also my way of EARNING a living – because to be a creator is MY PURPOSE. Others don’t have to understand or relate to that – they don’t even have to respect it…they’re consuming what I’m bringing to the table and not bringing a plate to the potluck.
We ALL have a soul purpose. The world needs ALL of us, with ALL of our different gifts. Don’t put people down or judge them because they don’t live the life you would choose for yourself. Thank them, instead, for what they bring into your life with their differences.
The world needs construction workers and emergency services workers and doctors and nurses and teachers and IT people and factory workers and farmers and truckers and on and on to help it to run smoothly. Of course it does. OF COURSE it does.
But do you know what it also needs that just about every one of those “essential” people consume like vitamins? The light of the artists – the realms of the writers, the musicians, the deep thinkers, the actors, the comedians, the magicians, the drawers of magical worlds and the painters of scapes in sound or in color, or both all at once – to escape to.
The world NEEDS the creators of comfort and escape to help the “essential workers” to cope with the stresses of their lives serving others. It needs the creators to help to invent and build the world, but also to help the world remember it’s inner child – the one that existed before it was told it couldn’t be itself and had match the rules that killed it’s true joy – and hopefully in some small way to help that inner child stay alive.
The world needs the dreamers and those brave enough to share their wildest and craziest ideas and creations to help the world see beauty and creativity, to find inspiration, and maybe, in some ways, to heal.
The world needs ALL OF US, all the time.
What has not worked for me in my life has taught me the depths of who I am. It has also taught me the limits of who I am. What has worked for me may not be for everyone but it has helped me to shine when I want to hide in the dark, and the broken parts of me and my past are not monuments made of stone, nor have they turned ME to stone. They are, even at their worst, portals through which I travel into a better tomorrow…or the hope that I one day will.
The experiences I have had and will have are the tools through which I create, through which I manifest and through which I show others (if not by word then by example) exactly what thriving – not just surviving – is.
Or, that is my hope. That is my goal.
That is my heart, and it just wants to make a difference in the lives of struggling people by sometimes making them feel less alone in their darkness by being dark with it but also by helping them to escape through the magic that sometimes pours out of me.
Our magics and our roles may be different, but it takes us all to make the world a happy and comfortable and interesting place to be. So don’t down the dreamer. Don’t loathe the lover. Don’t hate the hurt – because hurt people hurt people. Don’t damn the already damaged.
Don’t waste your time or energy playing the role of jury or judge because you’re neither. That’s not the job of a single one of us. We’re just here to do whatever we do best, whatever drives us and serves the world for the better, and to love – because love is the center of everything, even logic.
We are energetic, crystalline beings living in physical, 3D bodies. We are souls that are taking residence in a vessel so complex we haven’t even completely figured the vessel out yet. There was a time where there was very few awakened souls here on earth, and now many are becoming awake to these truths.
That is the purpose for all of us. We are here to experience this realm of existence while it lasts and to do our soul’s job in this realm to leave it better than we found it. What’s so hard about that? Apparently a lot – perhaps that is why we also need philosophers and psychologists and theologians and spiritual intellectuals whose jobs are to help us to sort through the two realities of spiritual and human existence.
The synopsis? Different types of people with different goals in life really aren’t meant to rub each other with friction causing constant lifequakes (pun totally intended). They’re meant to grease each other up, like lube, if you will, so that we can move more easily through the time that makes up our human life and actually EXPERIENCE IT.
Start moving with life instead of trying to force it to be a certain way. Creating your life is a process. Lube up already. Otherwise, life’s going to keep being rough and leaving friction burns in your soul. 🤷♀️❤️
We write to express. We music (yes, I just used music as a verb) to express. We art (again, verb) to express. We aren’t just what we create, we are the process of the creation. We are the verb. That is what it is about creating that makes it so fullfilling – the expression itself, as a verb and not as a product. So why do we get stuck?
Well. I’ve been sitting here now for two hours and not only am I stuck on the music I have in my head but can’t seem to get to come out, but also on this post. I don’t know where to go from where I started. So, let’s converse in the comments instead. Let’s write this post together.
Do you get stuck? How do you get unstuck? Are we REALLY stuck or just on pause? What factors contribute to your blocks in creativity? What factors, environments, or actions contribute to removing those blocks for you? Let’s talk…
Day 2 of the #FavoriteSongsChallenge to #spreadmusicnothate: Moonlight (Quasi una Fantasia) in C# (from Beethoven’s 14th Sonata), performed by Fazil Say. I love this version. It’s a favorite classical piece, but this version is beyond moving because of who he is as a musician….the way he plays it…
I love the way he connects with his instrument…how he treats the music as though it is a tangible, material thing. It’s as though he is not only feeling but also respecting the beauty of what is around him, inviting it into existence, communicating with it, cherishing it, unaware that he is creating it with his tool (and what a tool those Steinway and Sons pianos are) and his skill and gift. It’s all an extension of itself, connected by his innermost being. He breathes it from depths only the sound can express, yet it is almost like you can see the music in a literal sense. It’s so ethereal.
I’m moved. What else can I say. I know this sounds wild to a lot of you…but it’s just so profound to me. Anybody can play – just like anybody can take a picture – but it is the heart and the life and the love of the art that makes it different from what “just anybody” can do. This is how I feel with music… he personifies what happens inside me when I listen to it, or make it. He is literally breathing it in, absorbing it. Beautiful music feeds my soul like soul food feeds my stomach. LOL
Beethoven is one of my favorite classical musicians/composers and Moonlight Sonata is one of my favorite of his works. I’ve never had chill bumps from it the way I did when I listened to this and saw him interacting with the music with such grace and feeling. ❤️
So I saw this challenge in the blogging community where you share a favorite song of yours each day, in no particular order, and as many days as you like (so we’ve got an eternity’s worth here in my “favorites” playlist 😂), and share why you love the song.
For day 1 of the #FavoriteSongsChallenge to #spreadmusicnothate, I give you one of my favorite film songs (and yeah, there’s a lot of scores in my favorites) – Vide cor Meum, from Ridley Scott’s adaptation of Thomas Harris’ book, “Hannibal.”
There’s no reason I love the song other than it’s incredibly moving to me and I am, behind closed doors, a hopeless romantic who loves Dante Alighieri, beautifully moving classical/orchestral pieces, and Hannibal (one of my favorite novel and film trilogies).
Vide cor meum (See my heart) is an aria composed by Irish composer Patrick Cassidy based on Dante Alighieri’s Vita Nova, specifically on the sonnet A ciascun’alma presa, third chapter.
The translation from the lyrics (and the Vita Nova) is:
While thinking of her A sweet sleep came over me I am your master Here is your heart And on this burning heart Your heart (she) obediently fed Then I saw him (Amore) leaving in tears Joy became bitterest lament I am in peace My heart I am in peace See my heart.
The music (not to mention Sir Anthony reciting Hannibal’s interpretation of the Vita Nova) of “The Burning Heart” (another song, from Hans Zimmer’s Hannibal score) is also fabulous. WTH. I’ll share both for day 1. LOL 🥰❤️
From The Burning Heart:
“He woke her then, And trembling and obedient She ate that burning heart out of his hand. Weeping, I saw him then depart from me.” Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for her And find nourishment in the very sight of her? I think so. But would she see through the bars of his plight… and ache for him?
Fun related fact: Dante’s “Inferno” is one of my favorite books. Should we do a favorite books and favorite films tag, too? I say yes. I like seeing the things that make you who you are and having a bit of artistic culture in the mix. There’s more to the world than memes, politics and conspiracy theories. 😉
One day, you will sit alone and look through old photos that seem like they were taken just yesterday but really, those moments are so far away. They’ve become memories, and a life that you once lived… Treasure good and happy, joy and thrill filled moments…indulge in those moments – whether experienced with those you care for or experienced alone – while you’re taking the photos and living the experience. Make them count. When they become just a memory, never look back at them with regret, because in those moments you were alive. You were living – not just existing. And being alive and not just existing is what life is really all about about. It is always “the good old days,” in one way or another… Never forget that.
“You’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna’ miss this
You’re gonna’ miss this…”
To those of you who have commented on different posts, dm’d, texted, or even called and I haven’t been able to speak to you with everything going on, I’m sorry and I truly appreciate your kindness and your concern for my mom, for my son, for my family, and for me. It means so much – even if I can’t respond right away I see you and feel you there. Love y’all…so very much. It breaks my heart open to be able to receive, and thus continue to give, love…and have hope. ❤️