I can’t drink anymore.
It isn’t so bad, since I haven’t for a while anyway…
But some days I’d love to scorch my memories with the burn as it hits my stomach and numb the pain as it hits my blood stream.
My hand shakes as I first reach for, then I stare at, the bottle I refuse to throw out, and I argue with myself whether my health or my self-loathing should win.
Then my heart sinks, and I turn away with a vision of her shaking her head and saying, “you’re stronger than this. Better be careful. Don’t do this to yourself…”
So far, my health is on top.
Today is a new day….